Meeting people through dating apps is a whole minefield of rules and etiquette which leaves us all wondering: Which pictures should you use on your profile?
How long should you wait after matching before messaging? What should you say in your opening line? And it doesn't just end there.
Once you are chatting to someone you think you like, how long should you wait before meeting up in real life? It's better to meet up sooner rather than later, says dating expert for Match Hayley Quinn.
One to two weeks is the optimum about of time, according to Quinn, as it gives you time to get to know them, but not too much time that you overthink or the spark fizzles. To make sure you're not forced into waiting longer because of your busy schedule, Quinn suggests saving one evening a week for spontaneous fun, meaning you have space to book in a date when the time comes around.
The first reason to meet up with a dating app match quickly is to stop yourself from overthinking.
The best move is to not let yourself paint too much of a picture about someone before you meet up, and let the real them influence your perceptions. Messaging too much before meeting can also mean you become emotionally attached to the person before you've even met, which can lead to even more disappointment if it doesn't go well, Quinn adds. Secondly, initiating meeting up soon after starting to chat also allows you to filter out people who are genuinely interested.
If somebody wants to leave it a while, you can infer that dating isn't a priority for them right now," Quinn adds. If you put off meeting up for too long, you might run the risk of never actually making it to a date with the person.
Featured viral video:
While you of course need to chat enough to know if you like the person, Quinn says to avoid messaging too much before meeting up. So, seeing how easily you get along and how well you communicate is more important than having someone meet a list of criteria," she adds.
Don't completely rule out meeting somebody after two or three days of messaging, but Quinn suggests avoiding extremely last-minute dates. Quinn also recommends being wary of somebody who is very insistent about meeting up quickly, or wants to meet up multiple times in the first week, as it's a they're rushing into things.
When it comes to first dates, if you've already met the person in real life then maybe give it a good couple of hours for a date, Quinn suggests. But if you've met them on an app then try a micro-date instead, which could be an hour to an hour and a half.
If you want to avoid just drinks or coffee, then you could meet for coffee and a walk, which can make conversation flow more easily. Quinn also suggests trying an activity date, like mini golf, an exercise class or a food market.
When meeting up with anybody for the first time on a datewhether they're from an app or elsewhere, make sure you meet up in a public place, and always tell a friend where, when and who you're meeting with. You can even share your location with a friend, or have a contingency plan for leaving the situation.
Backpacks are back on!
The article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan. Here's how to know when it's right to meet someone. How long should you wait to meet up a dating app match in real life?
In-Depth Coverage. Jacobs: HS athletes need to listen to peers, get vaccinated.