The answers were split down the middle. Half of the recipients used words like consideratefriendly, kind, amiable, generous. The other half opted for dull, unconfident, needy, weak, self-centredand clingy. The chap always believes he falls into group one. But to the girl, these very same acts make him appear unconfident, weak, and clingy.
They do not connect. There is no romance. And so the spiral of anger and self-reproach begins, until the young man has convinced himself of the old myth, inspired by visions of leather jackets and dark glasses and flicked cigarettes; of bogeymen he has made out of the sportier boys at school with their first cars and beginner beards.
Soon, he has duly set out to be as actively unpleasant as possible in order to find a mate, destroying his chances and self esteem in the process. But this is all just one big misunderstanding.
He just needed a translator. The issue is especially poignant today. There were no global pandemics; no climate strikes; no v-shaped recessions; no cancellations and trials by Twitter; no burning Australias; no populist leaders; no Brexit; no Russian interference; no Love Island suicides; no Trump. A simpler time.
Being edgy, spiky, self-centred and cocky in was no bad thing. It might even help you get ahead. But the years since have changed the complexion of things dramatically. Perhaps the new mood peaked in February of this year, through the unlikely tragic hero of Caroline Flack. And then the coronavirus pandemic descended, and thoughts of profit and selfishness and constant progress and ruthlessness were cast aside in favour of a gentler, slower, more considerate outlook. Kindness, pleasantness, and niceness was all. No bad boys here.
The new nice guy: how to date and be decent in
Do compliment her naturally — which usually means the moment it occurs to you, and in plain language. Do be confident and secure in your good qualities. You should respect yourself.
Do be attentive and responsive. Do be in touch with your emotions, and try to articulate how you feel — even if sometimes only to yourself.
Do be generous. Do be kind.
Do try to follow the rules above. The essential guide to digital dating….
What to know when dating a korean guy
Find out more here. Words: The Gentleman. Do have a moral compass.