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Jersey New man the dating like divorce

Men and fathers going through a New Jersey divorce face an array of challenges that threaten to upend their lives. Read through our New Jersey divorce and child custody articles to gain a better understanding of the road ahead. Educating yourself about the divorce process in New Jersey will improve your ability to communication with your divorce lawyer, which goes a long way toward helping your reach your goals in New Jersey family court.


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The list is endless. The difficulty arises when trying to filter the wealth of information available — some incorrect and some not binding in New Jersey. Additionally, many clients ask others for advice. Most do not realize that divorces are never the same.

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Whether you are resistant to the divorce and it feels like a tragedy or you are initiating the divorce and it feels like an escape, there is no doubt that divorce creates a massive change in your family life, finances and day-to-day routine. Many clients going through a divorce ask: when can I start dating and how will it affect my divorce?

The answer is never black and white, as dating during a divorce can have its pros and cons. For all parties involved, the process of getting divorced is difficult. Your spouse, the court and yes, sometimes the lawyers can at times be frustrating.

Dressing up for a night on the town with an uncomplicated new partner is sometimes just what the doctor ordered. Spending time with a new, exciting person can be a wonderful distraction from the messy, tortured history of your marriage.

The don'ts of dating during divorce

This breath of fresh air can give you the reprieve from the drama that you need to forge ahead in your divorce. Divorce can make a person feel unappreciated, undesired and out of control. Stepping out with a new partner who finds you desirable and engaging, unburdened by the complications of parenting and finances that can come with a marriage, can work wonders for your mental health and sense of self-worth.

After long periods of battling with your spouse, it can be exceptionally refreshing to spend time with someone who is nice to you! Getting back in the game and feeling pursued and appreciated might be the ego boost you need to power through an unpleasant divorce.

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When you are in a bad place mentally, it is difficult not to make emotionally-charged decisions. Strategizing in a divorce based on emotions will position you and your spouse further away from resolution and, in the end, cost you more time and money.

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While it may feel good to exact revenge or act out of spite, in the long term, it will likely only make your divorce that much more protracted and painful. When you are in a good place mentally, you can more easily make decisions based on reason and practicality.

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You will feel less incentivized to hurt your spouse or be vindictive. Dating may make you happier, which in turn, will enable you to approach your divorce with a level head and amicable attitude to create a more pleasant experience for all those involved.

Dating while separated

While dating may make you happier, it might spur feelings of anger, jealousy or resentment in your spouse which will promote an ill-will in your divorce proceedings. In this regard, you know your spouse best, and can gauge how they will react to you reentering the dating world. If you believe that dating again will cause your spouse to fly off the handle, be warned that it will likely lead to your spouse taking less reasonable positions and being more litigious in your divorce.

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In this sense, dating can backfire — as you are trying to move on with your life, your spouse may dig his or her heels in further, dragging out the divorce even longer as a result. If you have children, you should give serious consideration to their thoughts and feelings before you start dating.

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Do your children hold out hope that you and your spouse will reconcile? Have they or are they old enough to express their emotions about the divorce? Do they have the assistance of a family therapist or mental health professional to guide them through this process?

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All of these things must be considered before you throw another curveball into the family dynamic. With regards to the legal implications of dating, how involved your new partner becomes with your children may have an effect on a custody battle between you and your spouse.

12 common misconceptions regarding new jersey divorce law

If custody experts are involved in your case, they will interview collateral contacts including your new partner as part of the evaluation and his or her past can affect the outcome of your case! A new partner with a criminal record, substance abuse or certain mental health issues can be a red flag for a custody evaluator especially if they are around your children a lot and may impact the custodial issues in your divorce.

Most people who start dating after a divorce are in no rush for a big commitment, but some find it easier to cope with a divorce by jumping right back into a serious relationship. You may lose your alimony if you are cohabiting with a partner in a marital-type relationship.

Dating before, during and after divorce - potential impact on divorce or custody

Accordingly, you need to remain cognizant of how living with your new partner may affect the amount of alimony you receive in divorce or whether your ex-spouse can make an application to terminate alimony based on your cohabitation after divorce. It is important to note that this is a one-sided consequence.

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8 misconceptions new jersey men and fathers have about divorce

Dating is a much needed distraction during divorce For all parties involved, the process of getting divorced is difficult. Taking control of your dating life is empowering and can boost self esteem Divorce can make a person feel unappreciated, undesired and out of control.

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Embracing positivity can set the scene for a rational and amicable divorce When you are in a bad place mentally, it is difficult not to make emotionally-charged decisions. Dating may fan the flames of acrimony between you and your spouse While dating may make you happier, it might spur feelings of anger, jealousy or resentment in your spouse which will promote an ill-will in your divorce proceedings.

Your kids might freak out If you have children, you should give serious consideration to their thoughts and feelings before you start dating. Serious dating might affect your spousal support Most people who start dating after a divorce are in no rush for a big commitment, but some find it easier to cope with a divorce by jumping right back into a serious relationship.