I recently got back into Tinder. Tinder is populated by an omnipresent cast of characters: real human beings with real, dimensional personalities; people with hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities; people with moms and d; people with failures, friends, and boring day jobs; all of them condensing the complexity of their humanity into a collection of five photos and words of text.
It is interesting the way we sell ourselves. It never changes. He has no shirt -- and one photo.
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He is definitely not cheating on his girlfriend. I just moved to Richmond, Va. He is probably just unemployed and maybe stuck a Bernie bumper sticker on a lamp post once. Am I a jerk for saying this? Watch him be Banksy. But am I highly skeptical that literally a third of the Richmond population engages in acts of artistic vandalism by night?
I am indeed. Richmond is thriving with artists, musicians, and creatives of all kinds.
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I am not talking about these people, who are generally invested in their art for the sake of art. These people are aware that the city is full of other people exactly like them, and that they do not exist as the only artists, within some kind of cultural vacuum. He informs you he is in a band, and then he waits for you to immediately fall at his feet, as if you were 16 and you just met your very first guy who plays guitar. He does not seem aware of the fact that everyone is, also, in a band.
The concept of this album changes frequently, as does, more frequently, the name of his band. He is not in love with his music, particularly. He is in love with himself. Which brings me to the endless, eternal wraith that you will almost, percent certainly meet.
To be fair, this is every artist ever. But this guy is next-level. He is basically in a relationship with whatever his art form happens to be. He is tortured.
He is angsty. His stuff is actually pretty good. He has this eternal facial expression of consternation mixed with despair, as if he is struggling to bring into being some immaterial force that commands every ounce of his attention, and actualizing that indiscernible thing is his sole purpose on this earth.
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He will disappear sporadically for days in creative binges. As much as you admire this guy, he clearly does not have time for you. You are unsure why he is on Tinder at all.
I have nothing to say that this title does not cover. He was a bro in who wore Oakleys and khaki shorts. Now he has grills, and somehow the mysterious experience of a life lived in poverty, where the cops are constantly profiling him in order to harsh his vibe.
It is unbelievable how much you have in common with this guy. I mean, it is literally unbelievable. This one mostly applies if your profile has any identifying information about your interests whatsoever. He literally just heard about a protest last week. You like potatoes? You like wine? At first it will excite you to learn that this man shares virtually all of your hobbies, until you start discussing them and realize he knows absolutely nothing about them.
It is a fact that people with professional careers are very busy.
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Many of them have little free time for things like dating, so it just so happens that sometimes you stumble upon a real, actual adult on Tinder. This is a glory of the modern age. This guy is a doctor in real life. Maybe a lawyer. Maybe an archaeologist. He has health insurance. He is an island of functionality among the misfits. This guy is a vampire.
Yet, night after night at a. It is unclear what he does the rest of the day, or if he even exists at all. This guy is confident, that much is clear. Whether or not he is capable of complex speech is a fact that remains ificantly less clear. There are endless other figures populating the Tindersphere that I have failed to mention, mostly because I swipe left on them.
Beautiful things happen on Tinder, but tread carefully in this dangerous world, my friends. And never forget your most powerful weapon: that beautiful, beautiful button marked unmatch. up Log In. Attractions Events. the Community. Meet the Author. Giant Food Stores is dominant retailer in Maryland and Virginia. Local Communities. Our Mailing List! Meet the Author Comments.