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But to get things started, someone has to make the first move. In the physical world, maybe that means a subtle wink. Or presenting the other with an elaborately carved spoon.

The secret to success for women on okcupid? sending the first message.

Traditionally, men take the initiative. On OkCupid however, women and men exhibit similar behavior when it comes to liking, browsing and having conversations. The playing field is also pretty even: there are 1. These women are progressive too, with 43 percent of women preferring to split the check compared to 17 percent of men. Yet there is one crucial way in which women fail to take the lead.

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Most women — regardless of sexual orientation — do not send the first message, with straight woman 3. So we asked ourselves: why are ladies — in particular, straight women — less likely to spark a conversation? At first, we thought that women could be more passive because they get a lot of attention. Some are sincere.

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Others are direct references to penises. Rarely do the two collide:. So how does the quantity of messages received affect women?

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Shockingly, no. On the contrary, men initiate no matter what, and the more messages they receive, the more they send.

Okcupid dating blog

Generally speaking: young or old, your outboxes are empty. Men, however, message most between the ages of 20 to No matter how attractive a woman appears, we see similar messaging behavior. Perhaps they enjoy basking in the glory of being one of the elitely attractive.

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Women rarely reach out, no matter their circumstances. Yet doing this research unlocked a secret — the OkCupid ecosystem actually puts women at a huge advantage.

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To put a on it, men are reaching out to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive. This means that if a woman does nothing, her inbox will be filled with less attractive men. If a woman sends the first message, everything changes in her favor.

In fact, women are 2. So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points just by sending the first message. Those sending the first message are already getting. If all women sent more messages, would they get more responses?

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The odds are in your favor. Want to be a part of this report, and future ones? Written by Kelly Cooper. Data Science by Dale Markowitz.

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Header illustration by Shawna X. Deed by Shane Zucker. Give OkCupid a try to connect with people as individual as you are.

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Learn how to set up a great online dating profile, get the latest on new dating app features, and more on the OkCupid blog. in.

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The secret to success for women on OkCupid? Sending the first message. OkCupid Follow.

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OkCupid Dating Blog Follow. Written by OkCupid Follow.

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