Cami Renzoni is a creative writer and editor for The Recovery Village. As an advocate for behavioral health, Cami is certified in Cookson is a d clinical social worker, psychotherapist and freelance writer who lives and works in midcoast Maine. The information has been screened and edited by health professionals to contain objective information on diagnosis and treatment of diseases. Contains bibliographic reference sources. When someone you know loses a loved one, they need your love and support more than ever.
If you are wondering how to help a grieving friend, there are many simple ways to show compassion during their time of need. It can be challenging to know what to say to someone grieving. The fear of saying the wrong thing could make you avoid trying to help, but there is no one particular way to help someone through grief. By being open, compassionate and willing to help, your presence will offer support. Make an effort to check in with your friend, even if it is a quick phone call, a card or an invitation to grab a coffee together. You might be surprised how much your check-ins mean to a friend who is grieving.
As your friend navigates the many difficult emotions that grief can bring, it is important to have a general understanding of grief. People who are grieving experience sadness, depression, anger and anxiety commonly.
How to help a grieving friend
Additional symptoms can include physical challenges such as digestive issues, sleep disturbance and fatigue, among others. As you take time to learn about the grief process, how you can support your friend in meaningful ways will become more apparent. When you are in the presence of someone who is grieving, it is often difficult to know what to say. Your natural tendency may be to try to make your friend feel better, but in a situation such as grief, no amount of talking will help.
Be sure to pay attention to the amount of talking you are doing compared to the amount of listening. Your friend will benefit more from talking about their feelings than anything else. Listen to their thoughts and feelings and express compassion for what they are experiencing in their grief process.
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One of the most important aspects of the grieving process is the ability to express deep sadness and allow oneself to cry. Letting your friend cry shows them that you understand that crying is an important part of the grief process. It may be tempting to try to cheer your friend up or tell them not to cry, but remember, it is an important part of grief and healing. Often when people are discouraged from crying it is a reflection of the discomfort others have about witnessing that amount of pain. Think about the tears as a necessary part of the healing journey.
Often people are hesitant about asking questions of a friend who is grieving, for fear of upsetting them or saying the wrong thing. Venture into how they are feeling emotionally and listen with compassion and care. Grief can cause you to neglect your own basic needs at times. Offering practical help can be a lifesaver when your friend is struggling to navigate the tasks of life while grieving. It may surprise you just how beneficial these practical tasks can be:. Grief ushers in a variety of strong emotions, and sometimes a grieving person needs to sit in silence to regain a semblance of peace.
It can be difficult to sit in silence, particularly when you know your friend is struggling with emotional pain. Resist the urge to fill the silence and make an effort to allow it space.
Your presence is enough. Your silent presence may be more therapeutic than you realize. Reach out to let your friend know that you are thinking of them. Contacting your grieving friend on anniversaries and holidays can help reduce that feeling of loneliness and lets them know that their well-being matters to you. Like the helpful hints to support your grieving friend, there are also several reminders about behaviors to avoid.
It is easy to stumble into non-helpful behaviors even when you have the best of intentions. Here are some thoughts on what not to do when someone is grieving and ways to handle situations that may feel difficult to navigate. Sometimes people have a misconception that talking about the deceased loved one will upset the bereaved. Most grieving people do want to talk about and think about their loved one who has passed, and by doing this, it helps facilitate the healing process. Ask questions about the lost loved one, like what were their hobbies?
Ask about the memories that your friend treasures. It may be that you are one of the few people your friend feels free to talk about their loss with. Encourage the conversation and memories about the deceased and just listen. Grief is not a problem to be fixed.
Your grieving friend only needs your loving support and presence. Attempting to do or say something to fix the situation will only leave you and your friend feeling more powerless. If your friend feels you are trying to fix them or their feelings, they may start to view themselves as a problem, which may reduce their comfort in confiding in you and expressing their feelings openly.
Acknowledging grief is one of the most basic and powerful ways you can show your support. To identify with their pain and offer support, you might be tempted to make comparisons about your losses in life. However, doing so is unnecessary and can often lead to frustration and anger for the person experiencing grief. While it may be true that you have also experienced loss, use discretion when interjecting your experience. Only share and draw comparisons if the loss is very similar to that of your friend.
Drawing inappropriate comparisons about grief can result in your friend feeling minimized. Refrain from telling your grieving friend that they look tired, depressed or sad. Even comments that are meant as complimentary may make your friend feel as though they are being judged. Passing comments about a bereaved person looking drained only reinforces what they are feeling inside. Instead, offer your support and ask how you can help. When a friend or loved one is grieving, it can feel compelling to share your religious or spiritual beliefs with them as a means of helping them feel better.
Even though you want your friend to feel peace and comfort, resist the urge to talk about your faith with them. If your friend asks questions about your beliefs, share openly, but without pressing the matter. Platitudes should be at the top of the list of things to avoid saying to someone grieving. These common statements are surely meant with good intentions, but only placate and minimize the feelings of the person who is grieving.
The best thing you can offer someone who is grieving is a hug, a listening ear and a compassionate presence. Grief can be all-consuming. Just being present and offering love and kindness is all that matters. The Recovery Village offers compassionate treatment for addiction and co-occurring mental health conditions like complicated grief. To learn more about rehab, call us today to speak with a representative who cares. Related Topic: Complicated grief treatment.
It is free and for anyone that is looking to reduce anxiety, work through depression, build self-esteem, get aftercare following treatment, attend teletherapy sessions and so much more. Download the Nobu app today! Accessed June 14, Vitas Healthcare. Proud Supporter.
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Alcohol Abuse. Should I Detox at Home? Am I an Alcoholic? What to Expect in Drug Rehab. What is Long Term Rehab? What to Pack for Rehab? Why is Accreditation Important? Don't wait another day. Help is a phone call away. By The Recovery Village. Editor Camille Renzoni. Paula H. If you are a healthcare professional and you find any issue, please reach out to [ protected].
Grief can feel incredibly lonely and overwhelming. Article at a Glance: There are many ways to show love and support for someone during times of grief. Learn about the grieving process, listen to those who are grieving and check in on them often.
Offering practical assistance by running errands or helping around the house can make a big difference in the life of a grieving person. Check in on them Make an effort to check in with your friend, even if it is a quick phone call, a card or an invitation to grab a coffee together. Understand the grieving process As your friend navigates the many difficult emotions that grief can bring, it is important to have a general understanding of grief.
Listen more, talk less When you are in the presence of someone who is grieving, it is often difficult to know what to say.