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The Census Bureau tells us that there are now more single he-of-household than married ones. After all, the parents of nearly anyone over 40 lived with their parents until they got married and were out of high school. This, of course, is why we have a proliferation of Internet dating sites with literally hundreds of thousands of members all looking for the same thing … and not finding it.

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Can you even imagine your grandmother looking for love on the Internet? And, it has dramatically changed us.

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In a world of instant gratification via instant messages, photos, videos and the like, we now have instant mate selection. Forget about the old-fashioned way of meeting someone in the store, at school, in the library do they still exist? Now we get instant crib notes with way too much information so we can select — and more importantly, de-select — our potential mates with the click of a mouse. What it has done is remove any mystery, any excitement and any fun in dating.

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Now we can pick and choose from a plethora of potentials based on drinking, smoking and exercise habits; size, weight, age when accurate and profession, politics, geographics, logistics and specifics on more than you have a right to know in the first place. Everybody wants chemistry and like the rest of this medium, we want it now.

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I believe in like at first sight. Was there a time when you grew into liking, even loving the other person after the first sight? Yeah, me too.

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I think a couple could have, but one or both of us would have had to make compromises and that seems to be an inherent problem in this truncated medium in the first place. While this saves a lot of time, it also saves us the ability to find out a little at a time and in the process, find out something more about ourselves. All of those started with them thinking that they would work because they liked everything they saw.

This medium not only allows, but actually promotes bad manners.

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After all, I spent the time to tell you I thought you were more interesting than all the other whackos out there, though I put it in better language. Your grandmother would have never done that! For those of you unfamiliar with the way it works, mail is where you write something on a piece of paper, address an envelope with a stamp on it and drop it into a mailbox. If the other person responds with a similar piece of paper, a nice person in a uniform brings it to your door. The whole process takes at least two or three days.

You can also be a total jerk without fear of reprisal. What kind of an animal are you?

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Ed Masciana, who owns Peralta Family Winery, has lived in Torrance sincepublished three books on wine and is becoming a former Internet dater. Do you have a story to tell? Submit your column to Josh Grossberg at josh. E-mailed submissions preferred.

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Please do not include attachments. Due to the high of submissions, not all essays will be printed. You will be contacted only if your essay is selected. By The Pasadena Star-News pasadenastarnews dfmdev.

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Not even a thank-you rejection notice. More in News.