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They reported quickly growing weary of the constant contact. In the trade-off between loneliness and conflict, I was happy with my choice.


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She now meets guys at do-it-yourself crafting meet-ups and her rock-climbing gym.

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But when it comes to the algorithms of love, many say they are losing faith. They wonder whether the valley has proven too vexing for even its own dating apps.

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Melissa Hobley, an executive at the dating app OkCupid, hears the complaints about the apps regularly and thinks they get a bad rap. One thing distinguishes the Silicon Valley dating pool: The men-to-women ratio for employed, young singles in the San Jose metro area is higher here than any other major area. There were men for every women, compared to about to nationwide, of never-married young people between 25 and 34 in San Jose, U.

Census data from show.

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Men make up about 70 percent of the workforces of Apple, Facebook, and Google parent Alphabet, company filings show. The companies are also so big that different departments, with differing gender balances, barely mix.

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Men, in return, say they feel outmatched or overlooked. The of adults living together out of wedlock has climbed about 30 percent over the last decade, Census data show.

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Millions across the U. In the San Francisco and San Jose areas, home to dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Zoosk and The League, the marriage rate for adults ages 18 to 49 fell about 6 percent from toCensus data show. Just 1 in every 4 here are married by age These were problems the dating apps offered an ability to fix, with technologies ranging from brute-force mass attraction to personalized profile matching.

In other words, they typically like what they see a bit less.

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But random, serendipitous meetings at a bar or party seem increasingly rare, several singles complained, and virtually every introduction, first sight and flirtation plays out first on screen. We are not an algorithm.

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Tech-industry professionals, Andersen said, are often some of the least comfortable pouring their personal desires into a dating app. And I tell them: What you are looking for does not exist.

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Business Technology. Silicon Valley singles are giving up on the algorithms of love.

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